This weekend, my dear friend Michael said that teaching online is harder than first year teaching because every day is like a fireworks display. When the day is over, we’ve burned up all the tricks, everything we had…then we have to make a new display for the next day. Something about that comparison made so much sense to me.
At first I couldn’t figure it out. Why am I so used up every day? Why am I collapsing into sleep on the couch at 4:15 every day? Why do I feel time and responsibilities slipping through my fingers no matter how many lists–and lists of lists–I make? I am not unhappy. This is good, meaningful work. I like it. It’s just a LOT.
It reminded me the happy dead-tired busy-ness of being in a theatre production. Like during tech week.
But then I realized: In a show, when opening night is over and all the actors go home, there is a LOT left for the next performance. The company still has their script, their sets, their props, and their costumes. The light and sound cues are still set. There is a veritable army of beloved techies who can things over and make any minor repairs.
Teaching is usually more like that. After a few years, you earn a general sense of the scripts, sets, props, costumes, and light/sound cues you’ll likely need for any given day. You have to pull the right thing out of the storage closet, dust it off, and update it. You have a team of teacher besties who are in your corner. They ALSO have a storage closet. You share. You update and design things together. You try stuff out together and you help each other solve problems.
Yes, dedicated practitioners clean out their teaching closet on the regular. That means sewing some new outfits or building a new set. But we work those projects into the flow of a school year. A new set might need to be built over the summer, but a couple of new props we can grab and integrate on the fly.
I have no storage closet for online teaching.
After running that day’s show, I’m faced with a few blurry-eyed hours to write a new script, find new props, sew new costumes, and build new sets. I have to set up new light and sound cues for the next day, and there are no techies working alongside me (unless you count Google or Canvas).
Somewhere in there, I should exercise, play with the kids, check social media, spend time with my husband, see some friends, eat dinner, and take out my contacts.
Usually, I manage to take out my contacts.